12/20/00

My Grandfather Said...
 
 

Words of wisdom,

from the teachings

of an original

Man of the West.
 
 

©MM

(copyright 2000)

A Song for all Seasons

Prosaic Creations by Eric Lee & Co.

"The medium that makes the difference,

when the message matters most!"
 
 
 
 
 
 

"
 
 
 
 
 
 

Introduction and Dedication

Patrick Healy was my father’s father; we called him GrandPat. He was a man of a certain wisdom, (though as children we hardly realized it) and had a way to his teaching that caught the ear, and stayed in the mind long past forgetting whatever caused the lesson to be needed. In this he was rare, and truly special. Among the many very fine teachers in my life, I place him higher than most.

In his life, he was soldier, gas station operator, Deputy Sheriff of a small West Texas town, cowpoke, rancher, husband and father, and a lot of other things I can’t recall or never knew. Most important to us, though, he was GrandPat. Often throughout my childhood, he came to live with us for extended periods, and in those times, he was as much the parental figure to us as Mom and Dad were. He took to the role with a serious passion for "raisin’ up young-uns" that caused me to listen closely when he spoke. I have had reason to be glad of this through most of my life, as the lessons of childhood become even more valuable to the adult who remembers them. The consequences of a mistake are far more cruel, in my forties, than in those innocent times. For knowledge that has helped me avoid the worst of those consequences, I thank GrandPat.

He was not a wealthy man, or powerful, but lives were touched by his wisdom, and the force of his personality. He lived a long and full life, and his family and friends, richer for knowing him, are now so much poorer for his passing.

He was laid to rest in Lubbock, Texas in March of the year 2000, having hung on to see the new Millenium. It’s my guess he wasn’t very impressed with it... he left us so shortly after.

It was my deeply felt honor to speak words over his grave and I kept those words for remembrance’ sake. They were lengthy; there was much that needed saying, but here are a few of them, to explain the ‘why’ of this book.

"...You were a man of few words,

and all my life I've tried to remember them all. "

You said everything short and plain,

and thought you were being simple, for a simple child.

"The man I became, or tried to,

remembers a wisdom so deep it seems bottomless.

I didn't always understand, but I always tried to remember.

You'd be surprised, I know, at how much I didn't forget..."

"I do wish, though, that you could have been there, in person,

to hear every one of the million times that I've been able

to answer a friend's confusion with "My Grandfather said..."

You never knew how many

were the confusions you’d cleared away.

You never knew how many Grandchildren

envied me My GrandPat!

They got candy, and dollars."

"...What I had, I have still...and it's always with me.

"Now, you'll be able to be there,

and see the smiles when I tell someone

what "My Grandfather said..."

and things grow clear for them.

I'm glad for that.

I hope the angels help you keep track...

those are the stars for your crown!

I hope, somewhere, some angel

has been keeping a running count for you;

the crown already waiting must be

blinding by now!

I know, though, that you'll probably hang it

on some antlers nailed to a wall up there,

and wear some old, battered Stetson.

And God will smile,

and shake his head, and say,

'Texans!'."

In writing those words, through memories and tears, I came to realize just how much I would miss him. More, though, I finally understood what a wealth of wisdom there was in his simple teaching, and what a shame, if it was lost: The world hasn't grown any less confusing. What he taught should be there, to make things plain, like he did for me...and to see that he is remembered as he deserves. Since I seem to remember it best, probably because I was easiest of the five of us to catch, that falls to me...

("Because it needs doing, and if you ask "Why me?" next, I’ll wash your mouth out!")

And so, that's why this book is...and why it is dedicated,

in Loving Memory,

to

Patrick B. Healy

Oct. l7, l908-March 3, 2000

Our Beloved and Much Missed

Grandfather

Who raised me to know

the things a cowboy knows.
 
 

My GrandFather Said...

 

A rattlesnake can't warn you when you're standin' on his tail.

 

Nothin’ scares a man with secrets like seein’ two of his friends talkin’.

 

The truth is what you make it. Make it a habit.

 

'Common sense' is two words that don't go together. That kind of sense is not common.

 

There's some people you don't rush...and the feller doctorin’ your wounds is one of 'em!

 

Flowers smell sweeter to a girl for no reason...and don’t have no smell at all when the reason’s an apology.

 

There's a whole world will see you pay for what you get...there's only you to see you get what you pay for.

 

It's never been hard to spot the town's biggest liar if you just listen a while.  When you hear who hollers "Liar!" at the most people...bingo!

 

You do what you gotta do, Son... and be ready to pay for what get's broke.

 

A man can miss findin' a lot, wrapped up in lookin' for what he lost.

 

I sorta' thought I knew more when I was your age...and you'll think I'm a lot smarter when you hit mine.

 

Keepin' your nose in the air stiffens your neck...and makes gettin' tripped a lot more likely.

 

The grass is greener on the other side of the fence...but you put this bunch of cows over there, and in a week it'll look just like this here.

 

A woman who knows all your faults ain't that hard to find. One who loves you anyway, is... and worth near anything to hold onto.

 

One lie is a trap, two lies is a trail...three lies is nearly always the end of somethin’.

 

I saw a fool argue with a jackass, once. Couldn’t tell which was which...

 

"Forgive and forget" is a real nice thought. Smarter choice is to forgive and remember.... and it’s the choice a woman always makes, whatever she told you.

 

A woman who makes you happy has her hands full with that...don’t expect her to make sense too.

 

Playin' cards with a fancy-dressed stranger is no more dangerous that kickin' at a strange dog. Not much smarter, either.

 

When a man forces your hand, he's paid for his ticket, and picked his stop. I never lost any sleep over doin' what had to be done, and I never aim to.

 

A man who walks taller carryin’ a gun is still walkin’ pretty small.

 

I know you take my word, Son. That whippin' wasn't so's you'd believe it was wrong, it was so's you'd remember it...and it works, don't it?

 

A horse takes you where it can. A train takes you where it goes. A man don't get nowhere ridin’ a fence.

 

...because it needs doing, and if you ask "Why me?" next, I'll wash your mouth out.

 

Whether the coyote wins or the hawk wins...the rabbit still loses.

 

There's some folks that wouldn't see reason with a big red sign hangin' on it.

 

Look at a man’s hand when he goes to slap you on the back.

 

When a man would come along quiet, I didn't make him walk in front of me to the jail; I walked alongside him. It don't hurt to let a man hold on to his dignity. Most times, he'll behave better for it...an' it's a mighty hard thing to give back once you've took it!

 

When you sit to a card table, mind your cards, your stake, and your manners...and leave the deed at home.

 

Dang right it hurt! If I let that stop me, I'd a' never learned to do much of anything, would I?

 

It ain’t what she said that matters...it’s what she says now. If that's different again tomorrow, this still goes.

 

Never was a law that makes people honest. Some, though, it’ll maybe keep that way.

 

Your woman, by and large, holds the best of you...but only if that's what you give her.

 

Don't bet what you can't smile losin'.

 

Your left works just fine, Son. See if you can't quit leadin' with your mouth!

 

A woman you can trust left behind is like a gold watch you can get good money for. You'd be way better off to just keep 'em both.

 

A gun is not for threatenin'...it's for shootin'. If you ain't sure you'll shoot...don't draw.
 
 

"That's something folks seem to say a lot, but it ain't hardly ever true."

• No one's that stupid!
• It can't get much worse.
• This won’t hurt a bit.
• One size fit's all.
• It's a sure thing.
• It will only take a minute.
• I can't miss at this range.
• It won't cost you a cent.
• What she don’t know can’t hurt her.
• You got nothing to lose.
• I sent that off yesterday.
• I saw the whole thing.
• Everybody knows that.

 

There ain't no tax on acting friendly.

 

What God's in charge of, I leave to him...and I never complain about the job someone's done if I can't do it better.

 

There's two kinds of people; them that's worth listenin' to, and them that starts with "there's two kinds of people...".

 

Two men fightin' over a water-hole can work it out if they’ve a mind. Two men fightin' over a religion never will, but by the time they're done, it'll sure take God to sort it out.

 

There’s all sort of things you never seen along most any trail...but the herd won't be stoppin’.

 

"Some things a woman says, she likely believes she means... but it ain’t all that safe to put much stock in 'em."

• "Well, of course, I don't mind you looking!"
• "I always want you to tell me what you think."
• "Go on and have fun. I trust you."
• "They’re your friends. Of course they’re welcome."
• "I won’t be nothin’ but polite to your Mama, Honey."
• "If you don't like it, just tell me, and I'll fix somethin' else next time."

 

Never sit just left of the dealer.

 

The times you been rained on don’t count toward bathin’.

 

If her dress is gettin’ a bit tight, she’ll notice it all on her own. There’s some truth even an honest man ought not be tellin’.

 

You got more ‘whys’ than alphabet soup, Boy! There’s mountains there ‘cause God needed someplace t’put ‘em!

 

The wolf in your belly growls louder than the one at the door... but he might not can bite as hard.

 

No, Boy, breakin’ your word ain’t the same as breakin’ the law...it’s worse, an’ what it’ll cost you hurts a lot more to lose.

 

If your Mama didn't tell you why, that don't mean there ain't a damn good reason.

 

Two men fightin' over a woman can't neither one win...she'll pick who she wants anyway, and it likely won't be someone dumb enough to be fightin’ over a woman.

 

Mend your fences.

 

When horses eat, stables need cleanin’...an’ horses get hungry every day. Just ‘cause the job’s done don’t mean it’s finished.

 

Sometimes, a dog barks just to be barkin'. Check the corral anyway.

 

You can't buy a woman's heart, and what you get without it ain't worth the money.

 

A man's no better than his manners...no matter how fast he is.

 

"...for all these blessin's, Lord, and for good coffee, we thank you."

 

If you can't make up your mind, you can still make up your bed. Do what you can, when you can. The rest'll come.

 

Keep your money in your pocket 'til it's time to pay the check.

 

When a woman flatters a man, she wants somethin', but it ain't the same thing a man flatters a woman to get. He'd have given her that without the trouble.

 

When a rattler means to bite, he tells you, and when he tells you he’ll bite, he means it. Don't trust a human snake for either.

 

Make your best plan, hope for the best, and watch the weather mess it up anyway.

 

Whiskey makes you shoot way too easy...and nowhere near straight enough!

 

Shootin' a broke-legged horse is a mercy. Shootin' a broke-hearted man is a waste of a bullet. He'll likely get over it; the horse won't.

 

A man who’s free with his opinions knows what they’re worth.

 

Shootin’ for a goal works the same as shootin’ for a target...if it’s a ways off, aim high.

 

I never understood why a man who kicks his dog is always the most surprised when he gets bit.

 

A man will tell a woman most anything to get what he wants...but he can’t tell her anything she don’t already know, and he’ll only get what she wants to give him, anyway.

 

The difference between gamblin’ and "just playin’ a little cards" is like the difference between gettin’ arrested and just "gettin’ tossed in jail".

 

What you done wrong last year, she'll remember. What you done right today, it's best you keep on doin'.

 

Men marry a woman thinkin' she'll stay as is...Women marry a man thinkin' they'll change him. Neither of ‘em’s right, but both'll be more'n a mite surprised to learn it.

 

When a man takes the law in his own hands, they'll most likely be too full to hold his temper.

 

You can’t make anyone happy. All you can give 'em is what you got...but you can hope ‘happy’ is part of what they find there.

 

If you won't treat your wife like a lady, you might as well marry a whore to start with. You get lots less surprises, that way.

 

The rain don’t care if you wanted to go huntin’.

 

Hate's a weed like any other. Let it once take root, and it'll grow just fine without waterin'.

 

The hole cards don't change.

 

When a man points a gun, watch his eyes. When a woman points a gun, you watch her trigger-finger, 'cause she don't know when she'll shoot until she's done it.

 

Pretendin' and dreamin' aren't the same thing, an' it's risky, pretendin' things your life can't live up to.

 

You don't have to know who's it is. It’s enough you know it ain't yours.

 

When a man says "I bet that widow might want some comfortin’..." it's a good bet it ain’t her comfort he’s thinkin’ of.

 

If you know a man beats his dog, his horse and his wife, you waited two questions too long before you shot him.

 

A man who steals to stuff his wallet is a worthless neighbor. A man who steals to feed his children has a worthless neighbor!

 

Good intentions are no better than stable sweepin's 'til you do somethin’ with 'em...an' at least stable sweepin's make good fertilizer.

 

You can’t ride a horse sittin’ on the ground ...now get back up on him!

 

All the learnin’ in the world won’t milk the cows.

 

I never met a man who bled a different color.

 

"A fool and his money" are prey, Son. I know I didn’t raise a fool, but don’t you ever let me hear I raised a predator!

 

The answer to "Is she prettier than me?" is no.

 

The reason the house always wins is somebody always loses...an' it ain’t always somebody else.

 

The hangman had better be right the first time. Be careful of doin' what can't be undone.

 

You can't own springtime, the rain, or a woman.

 

God made woman to let a man know when he’s gettin’ above himself...and she takes her job real serious!

 

You can catch up lost sleep. Lost daylight is gone.

 

It's a heap easier to crawl inside a bottle than to climb back out.

 

It ain't always easy to live with your mistakes...but it beats lettin' em kill you.

 

Some men just by nature think they got somethin' to prove. You don't have to let 'em think they have to prove it to you.

 

If a man's wife ain't the prettiest woman around, maybe life ain't been that easy, and left a mark or two...and just maybe he's a man who looks a little deeper. Either way, it wasn't nothin' you needed to mention.

 

You don't fight for but one reason...because he didn't give you a choice. Now that's straight, you don't worry ‘bout fightin’ "fair"... you fight to get it over with!

 

You put the bait on the hook, and put the hook in the water. Worry about the rest if you catch somethin'...I didn't come fishin' to make a chore of it.

 

It ain't the best rider that wins a horserace.

 

An animal won’t go against its nature. A man will...but then, that's his nature.

 

Yes, I know the sun'll rise again tomorrow. It's me that might not...that's why I'm watchin' it come up today.

 

In the end, there's a lot more folks wish they had, than wish they hadn't.